Begging for Trouble                                                                    

So innocent, right? Don’t believe it. This boy is always looking for trouble. Which is a great lesson in things are not always like they seem. Life is full of realities that we don’t often want to face. So in this session of my work, I am trying, once again to tune everything out…and just get to it!

My friend and one of my favorite mentors, was the generous Kent Brown from the Highlights Foundation. I love, loved going there! I had a magical week with writers…all children’s writers years ago on Lake Chautauqua in upstate New York. While I was there, Kent hosted a dinner for all us starry eyed wannabe writers, story tellers, poets–all of us who were like-minded, spending years practicing the craft and putting words on the page.

I walked into the beautiful, old dining room, like something from the Gilded Age, and Kent seated me at a table and told me not to move. The room filled up and there I sat, feeling a little awkward, but trusting him because he’d given me that giant smile, so I knew he was up to something. Well it sure was something. Eileen Spinelli came in and sat on one side of me and we started chatting; I hate to say this, but I had no idea who she was. But then, I saw a guy with peppered hair and medium height headed my way. Now, I knew who Jerry Spinelli was, I’d read his books alongside my kids in our book clubs at school. The kids loved him and his books, and so did I. So I recognized him right away. An icon in kids’ writing.

At first, I stumbled with my words with both Eileen and Jerry. I do not know why, but me, Miss Chatty Butt found my breath coming in gulps and my eyes tearing up. But they were not having that. They understood my plight. So Jerry started peppering me with questions about writing, about my teaching, telling me how he could not ever pull off writing and trying to teach. He was so human, and thank God, so was Eileen. Together, they got me to relax and talk just a little bit about what I was working on.

So now, once again I face another hurdle. After years of writing, hiding behind my work, I am facing myself, and my ridiculous Critic that causes me to choke when I face people in my profession. I’m sending out my work, and now trying to pitch it to people that could actually help me get it out there. There are no guarantees in publishing. Many, many fewer opportunities than there were had I promoted my work back then.

But I am remembering now. Things are not always like they seem. Yes, agents hold the cards, but like that not-so-innocent puppy, I am not as tongue-tied as I used to be. Agents are people, human just like Eileen and Jerry Spinelli. I know my work well. And really, I have nothing to lose. So…faith and courage is what I’m practicing right now. Breathing, and getting the just right words in my pitch practiced and semi-perfected and ready to go! Because there really is no perfect. There is only the practice. And that gives me a world of satisfaction!